Hate
by zivanka
Summary: Itachi, thinking over his relationship (or maybe just the author speculating). Itasasu. One Shot. Slight Yaoi (yea baby!). Please enjoy!


**Title:** Hate

**Author: **Esie

**Disclaimer: **Poor Itachi...He's not mine...what a pity for him.

Brother loving brother, but its all sweet. Nothing graphic. And yes, its alittle weird at times, but so am I...and Itachi's a hard one to figure out.

* * *

"Itachi-sama?"

"Hn…"

"What of Kyuubi?"

"Ie…I must rest."

Kisame stalked off, perturbed at Itachi's actions of late. Not since hiding a good distance from Konoha, had Itachi moved, or spoken of plans to move.

'What is he doing!'

Kisame was all the more agitated at the thought of the Kyuubi out without sufficient escort, yet Itachi hadn't budged.

* * *

_It was true that I needed to rest. I had used a powerful jutsu and the strain on my eyes had been terrible. But it would have normally taken a week at most to recover. Taking Naruto now would be advantageous. He was without a powerful jounin, or Sennin for that matter. His comrades would be unable to defend him for long. He would be unable to call for help. Was it because of Sasuke?_

_No…I had spent too much time away from him. Surely I didn't care about him… Not even the fact that if Naruto were to be kidnapped right now, Sasuke would end up in the hands of that filthy snake, the same one who had been after my body for years? _

_The thought still disgusts me! He wasn't good enough. Hewould never deserve an Uchiha'spower. And its worse thinking of Orochimaru in MY Sasuke's body!...my Sasuke? When had I started thinking like the old Itachi again?_

_I wanted him to hate me, and still do. He needed a reason to live. I wanted him to live. But I didn't want to feel that guilt looking into his eyes…knowing I had hurt him. If he just hated me, it would be easier. Though as he rushed at me in his futile attempt to avenge our family, I could read through his eyes. There was a part of him that still looked at me pleadingly… _

'_Dooshite…Nii-san?'_

_Why? I tried to push him away._

"_Hate me."_

"_You don't have enough hate."_

_Was it all for nothing? Should I have just killed him? Would I have been able to kill him?... Could I kill him now?... __Do I still love him? _

_"Nii-san!"_

_He was so adorable when he was young, but he was suffering, just like me. Not from being pushed too hard, but from receiving no attention. I wanted to help him…I said I would. Too many other things stood in our way. That family. The one that wouldn't look at him. He was soft. He wasn't as strong as me, but he still deserved to live, didn't he? Couldn't Sasuke find something to live for? Couldn't I?_

"_Why cant I love him."_

"_You're his elder brother! That sort of love isn't right! Itachi! I am ashamed of you!"_

_All I could do for us…was try to give us a chance. But what, after they were dead? When Sasuke knew it was me who killed them? He wouldn't love me…but how could that be worse than going on like this? Would he lose the will to live?_

_"I'm going to kill you!"_

_No… I wouldn't let him! Its easier to hate than to love, Sasuke. Often, the two switch places in the heart. If hating me could keep him alive…it would be best to sever things then and there. And maybe…one day…he could find something else to live for. Or…dare I to hope…he could love me like he did as a child…or…even as I had, and now find myself loving him. So it is about Sasuke? Its all about Sasuke._

"_Yurusei…Sasuke…"_

_I tried to stay away from him. I didn't want to hear the words. I didn't want to see that face. The reaction to how I felt. The hate. Disgust. Fright. He would never understand my love. But somehow…my family noticed it. The secret slipped… What else was I to do? Get rid of the evidence. Run. Leave Sasuke. Forget him. But he found me._

"_Dooshite…Nii-san"_

_His eyes were wide with fright. My hands were bright with blood._

'_Get away from me!'_

'_You mustn't know!'_

'_Don't look at me like that!'_

'_Hate me!'_

_Never…you can never know! Just hate me…I just want to leave you! Live. I dont want you to live without me!_

_"Live in an unsightly way."_

_No…I wont intervene. Sasuke…he has shown feelings for that boy. Maybe the Kyuubi will do what I couldn't. Sasuke..._

* * *

"Hate me."

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks to _Fantastical Queen Ebony Black_ for reviewing. I've made some changes and hope its better now. But please...if you catch anything or have any suggestions, dont hesistate . 


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